I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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