my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
