my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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