I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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