Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
