I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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