38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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