Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
