just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
