I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
