people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
