Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
