i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize