Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
