Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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