Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just invented taco cereal.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
