Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
