I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Someone shattered a urinal.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
