Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me

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(214): View more from Texas

So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.

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(404): View more from Georgia

You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.

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(404): View more from Georgia

His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

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(214): View more from Texas

dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle

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(703): View more from Virginia

Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.

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(954): View more from Florida

I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first

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