she smelled like a LAN party
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize