So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
