mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
