grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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