Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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