naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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