shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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