Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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