I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
