do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize