dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
