yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i dont even know how to be here
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
