i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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