There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize