Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
