I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
