IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
