Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i think i just lost a toe
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
