How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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