So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
