I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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