I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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