we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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