I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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