i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
