I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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