Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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