so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
