i just had sex bonerless
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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