White coat. Heels.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
