drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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