What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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