I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
