did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
