Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
