I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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