I got chris browned last night
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
