my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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