What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
