She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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