If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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