That's intense
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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