She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
