Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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