can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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