That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
