If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
