So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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