I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
